How to Improve Your Self Concept

Law of Assumption

How to Improve Your Self Concept

What is a Habit?

Brushing your teeth, drinking coffee, looking at your phone, making your bed: These are examples of habits—the things that you repeatedly do without effort.

The actions that you repeat day after day create into your life.

If you don’t like what you’ve created, you must change your habits of thought and what you’re doing.

“The world is a mirror, forever reflecting what you are doing, within yourself.”

— Neville Goddard

How Your Habits Shape Your Self Concept

Your habits reflect your self concept and your self concept determines your habits

What beliefs about yourself do your habits reinforce? 

• I’m take care of myself

• I deserve my attention.

• I’m high-value

Or…

• I am lazy

• I’m not good enough

• I can’t get it together

If you see yourself as wealthy, you’ll have rich habits: being disciplined with your money, spending in ways that feel abundant, and taking actions that lead to wealth.

You become what you do over and over.

Your habits create your life.

Your habits are a result of your self concept. 

Your self concept is a result of your thoughts.

So, to change a habit, you must be aware of and change your thoughts.

But isn’t changing habits “hard?”

We all have a “That’s not who I am” story subconsciously

• I’m not rich

• Everyone always ignores me

• I’m not organized

• I’m not disciplined

• I’m not a morning person

When you’ve told yourself a story for years, you believe it. 

And the more you think it, the more evidence you collect to prove it true.

The constant feedback loop of belief followed by evidence forms your self concept. 

It becomes an automatic system that runs itself.

You will always prove your self concept to be true. 

Your habits will define you if you don’t decide who you want to be and practice the habits of your desired self concept. 

You may feel the incongruence between your current self concept and your desired self concept. 

That discomfort is your brain’s way of keeping you within your current self concept. If you listen to it, you get to stay in harmony with how you currently see yourself. 

And you’ll go on to create more evidence for your current self concept. 

However, if you’re willing to embrace the discomfort of change to feed your new self concept, it will become easier.

Eventually, you’ll see yourself as your new self concept and the thoughts, feelings, and actions of your new self concept will become automatic. 

The Secret to Changing Your Self Concept

Changing your habits

It’s not because you’re not capable; it’s because you’re not focused on transforming the one thing that determines your habits.

The secret to changing your self concept is to focus on changing your habits. 

You can take an action that’s outside of your current self concept — go on a diet, establish a routine, save money — but it won’t be sustainable unless you change your self concept.

You will always act in harmony with your self concept. 

The practice of changing habits is to provide evidence for a new self concept. 

It becomes easier and easier to sustain those habits because you are transforming your self concept.

You will always act in harmony with how you see yourself. 

• 1. Decide on your desired habit

• 2. Determine the identity of the kind of person who does this naturally

• 3. Create small wins every day to provide evidence for a new self concept

• 4. Embrace the discomfort of change

Discomfort may come up in the process because of the tension between your old self concept and the new self concept you’re practicing. 

Your old self concept may offer thoughts such as: 

• Who are you fooling?

• You’re not this person

• You can start tomorrow

• It’s going to take too long

All to keep you within your current self concept. 

However, if you keep doing the same things, you keep confirming the same old beliefs about

yourself.

In those moments, when you’re experiencing the mind’s chatter, you have a choice: you can focus on who you’ve been, or who you’re becoming.

The more time you spend thinking from you desired self concept, and less time thinking from your old unwanted self concept, the faster you’ll be able to change your habits. 

As you go through this process, you’re changing how you see yourself to match your desired self concept of constantly reaffirming your old self concept. 

The habit that was once unnatural will be something that you just automatically do. It will be a part of your self concept. 

Awareness of Your Habits 

Most people are walking through life in a slumber; they don’t even realize their habits. 

If you’re not living the life you desire, you must look at your repeated behaviors to identify those holding you back.

How you spend your days will determine the life you live.

Awareness is the key to creating your dream life. 

When you’re aware of what you’re doing and why, you have the power to change it.

Assessing the results of your everyday habits will show you their impact over the long haul. 

• Does this habit reinforce your old or new self concept?

• Does this habit align with your desire?

• Does this habit add to detract from the quality of your life? 

Awareness of your habits and being honest with yourself about their impact on your life is the first step to changing your self concept.

4 Steps to Creating a Self Concept

1. Start with your habits

Because your self concept determines what you do, and your self concept is just a group of thoughts you believe about yourself, forming a new habit starts with how you think.

What does a person who is loved think about themselves? 

• I am loved

• I am taken care of

• I feel safe and secure 

• I am adored 

• I am a priority 

Practice your desired thoughts and create daily small wins as evidence for your new self concept.

2. Create a Plan

When forming new habits, people often don’t create a plan. 

They rely on their word and desire. 

But in the moment, the desire for the unwanted behavior is often greater than the desire of your new self concept. 

To form habits, you must identify triggers and give yourself cues for new behaviors. 

“When this, then that” statements are a tool you can use to either link your desired behavior with a situation or to decide on desired behavior when triggered to do the old one. When X happens, I will do Y.”

“When I wake up, I will do yoga.”

“On my days off, I will take myself out on a date.”

Link an event with your desired habit. 

“When this, then that” is also a way to practice replacement habits. 

There’s a saying, “nature abhors a vacuum,” meaning that empty or unfilled spaces go against the laws of nature and physics and therefore will seek to fill themselves. So, instead of simply focusing on stopping a negative habit, you must have a replacement behavior to fill that space.

“When I want to overeat, I will take three deep breaths and remind myself of why I want to be healthy.”

These statements allow you to have a plan for your obstacles. And, when you plan for them, you’re more likely to overcome them.

3. Set up your environment

We often rely on our willpower for success, but willpower wears out. 

Go on a diet and surround yourself with your favorite food day after day, and you’ll notice how quickly pure will wears out.

As you change your self concept, set yourself up for success to achieve those small wins. 

With practice, it becomes automatic to perform your desired behavior when you identify as the person you want to be. 

But, in the meantime, why torture yourself and slow your progress?

To make habits easier to form, you must design your environment to support your desired behavior. 

While we are a product of our self concept, our environments greatly influence how we see ourselves. 

Our surroundings shape us, so shape your surroundings on purpose.

Certain environments can continuously reinforce undesired behaviors. 

Instead of being a victim of your surroundings, find opportunities to create them on purpose to support your desired behaviors and who you want to be.

4. Make it rewarding

Habits offer us rewards.

When you overeat, the reward may be relief of feeling sad.

When you scroll through Instagram, the reward may be temporary relief from work.

When you bite your nails, the reward may be decreased anxiety.

Because we crave to feel good, we often choose immediate gratification with long-term costs.

One of the ways to work with this tendency is to reward your desired behavior.

“After my workout, I’ll treat myself to a latte.”

“After I complete today’s tasks, I’ll watch my favorite show.”

“After eating my healthy dinner, I’ll treat myself to a bath.”

Feeling proud of yourself is one of the best feelings you can experience in your self concept.

Create a reward that works for you.

As you begin to link rewards with your desired behaviors, you’ll be more motivated to follow through in your new self concept.